I was at a bar in Wrigleyville for the majority of the night. Last call came, and everyone began to make their way towards the exit. As I was leaving the bar I got punched in the back of the shoulder. I quickly spun around and saw that it was my sister’s boyfriend bearing a huge grin. We talked and joked around for a bit and then decided to head over to an afterhours bar down the street which was open until 5am.

As we grabbed a drink up at the bar I noticed that my best friend happened to be at the same bar and was across the room talking to some random hot chick. My sister’s boyfriend asked me why I wasn’t the one talking to that smoking hot chick, knowing very well that I could never back down from a challenge. I told him to watch and learn as I got up and approached the gorgeous prize. When my buddy saw me he went to shake my hand and strike up conversation but I didn’t waste any time. I started right into my act telling him that his wife has been calling me all night long and is pissed that he hasn’t been answering his phone. The girl first looked at me puzzled and then glanced down at my buddy’s hand. She was quick to notice and point out that he was not wearing a wedding ring.

Well, I couldn’t let my cock-blocking lie end there so I said to my buddy, “Wow that’s so shady dude, you’re not even wearing your wedding ring.” My friend was in shock but he knew my act had worked to perfection so he flicked me off and walked away. I started working my game and talking to this girl hoping to capitalize on my effort for the night. After an hour or so I saw my friend, whom I screwed over earlier approaching us. I knew this wasn’t going to be good for me. He directed his attention to the girl and said, “It looks like you and my friend have really been hitting it off. Oh by the way did he tell you that he has AIDS.” My jaw dropped. At least my lie was creative but this line was straight to the point and a guaranteed black card of death. But wait my friend didn’t stop there, he proceeded to point directly at me while screaming, “This kid has AIDS” for the entire bar to hear.

Every single person stopped what they were doing and stared at my friend then directed their attention towards me in disgust. My friend wouldn’t stop; he continued to scream, “He has AIDS,” like some stupid broken toy stuck on repeat. I guess I deserved it so I quietly walked back over to the bar to grab another drink glad to get the attention off of me. As the bar was closing I saw my friend talking to this foreign girl and I heard him ask for her number. I immediately went up to her and said, “I wouldn’t give this guy your number he’s super racist and might be planning on doing something really bad to you.” I then promptly walked to the door and exited the bar smiling the entire way knowing I was the on who got the final laugh